Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
