"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
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