if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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