so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
