Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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