if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
