I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Your penis caused this!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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