can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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