saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And then my night got REAL pukey
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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