can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
