I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
