dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize