At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize