I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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