I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
