i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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