I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
