Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize