I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
