If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
