I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Im part way to drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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