Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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