The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
