I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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