i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
