Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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