my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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