Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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