Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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