i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
