last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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