It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
