I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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