My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
