Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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