dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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