whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
