I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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