This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
