I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
