Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
