hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Sober January is a disaster.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
