Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
