well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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