We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
jump out the window naked night went bad
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
