butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
