did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
