i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
