I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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