Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
