how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dicks are not precious.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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