a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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