its not stalking. its research.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
