good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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