the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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