stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
