For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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