is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
