I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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