I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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