I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
