he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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