im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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