If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
