So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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