Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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