how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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