She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize