Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
