On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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