Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize