My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
